What I’m Smiling About: Manners
Reflections on manners and a church potluck.
Besides salvation and fellowship, one of my favorite features at church is a church potluck. I love the feeling of community that potlucks breed, and I enjoy the variety of homemade and pseudo-homemade food, too. This past Sunday, our church had a “welcome back college students” potluck, and it was, as per usual, a delight.
While waiting in line, salivating over the smell of food and chatting with good friends, I noticed evidence that civility, class, and chivalry is still alive and well in America.
A middle-aged gentleman – he deserves the title – was seated at a table with some of the newer college students and the ones who’d been members for a while. One gal – a newer student/member – was standing near the table. When the gentleman realized that he was seated while the young woman was standing, he stood up and insisted that she take his chair.
Not but five minutes later, I saw him carrying a high chair across the room so that a grandma could enjoy the lunch with her toddler grandchild. He helped her get the toddler buckled in and chatted a bit before heading off to the line for lunch.
Why am I so interested in this behavior? Couldn’t really give you a clear answer.
I am going to make a point to tell this gentleman what I noticed on Sunday, and that I’m grateful that there still are gentlemen in this world. We can all lament the loss of civility in our culture, try to discover why it disappeared, and where it’s gone.
A more useful endeavor, I think, would be to seek out, praise, and thank people who behave as though they gave a damn about decency and chivalry.
Witness any random acts of kindness, civility, and class that you think need to be praised?
RSS - Posts
Not to sound like a downer, but it really is sad when we have to take time to point out the behaviors that normal, civilized people should be doing in the first place.
I’m not criticizing you or this post, but rather the state of our society.
Hiya jackrabit1,
I do hope that others will follow the lead and speak up whenever they see such civility in action.
I always make it a point to say “Thank you! So sweet of you!” whenever a person holds a door, picks up something I’ve dropped, does something – as you said – that normal, civilized people should be doing in the first place. I try to go out of my way to do the same.
I was just struck at the way such behavior came naturally to this gentle man.
Who was it that said “manners are the thing on which civilizations are built”? Can’t remember, but that seems fitting here.
Your post could also have been titled “What I Miss: Manners” but that might have annoyed some folks.
You may add my gratefulness to yours when you thank said gentleman. May his tribe increase.
I just got your site address, and the manners piece is the first of what I’m certain will be a most erudite and enjoyable experience. I have a couple of questions about the polite gentleman. Was he mannerly before or after he had eaten, and did he have a hearing aid? Perhaps he had eaten, and he gave his chair to the lady because he didn’t need it anymore, and if his hearing was normal. perhaps he got the highchair to silence a screaming brat. You see, I’ve been made cynical by the eructations coming from Congress and the Blackhouse.
wow. Or it could be, there was a tiny alien inside his head controlling his every move, the alien repulsed by the disgusting earth girl gave her his seat that he might remove himself from her disgusting stench. Further, he got the highchair, so as to put the baby’s head closer to the head of it’s filthy mother so he would not have to deviate too far in his target acquisition.
Of course it could just be that he is a nice guy and wanted to give up his seat to a guest in his church. Perhaps even, being a mild mannered individual, he thought he should help the really old lady carry the booster chair because he is the kind of guy who just likes doing the right thing. This fool must have been a boyscout to be engaging in such outrageous behavior when there is clearly no profit or benefit to be had by him.
Either way, we will all die soon.
Wolfman, what a great idea: an alien in the old man’s head made him do it! Oh boy, wait until the criminal defense lawyers get word of this (or is it criminal, defense lawyers?). But please don’ take whagt I say seriously. I’m in a manic phase. You know. Manic. Flight of ideas, pressure of speech, word salads, grandiosity. I must get back on my mood stabilizers. Yours truly, Jesse Jackson, Jr. (And I’m going to use that alien -made-me-do-it idea).
Wow, Blackhouse? That seems a little… wrong.
Blackhouse: Maybe wrong, but certainly not right. ACLU wants the place repainted-guess what color. I hate to think what color if one of your chinks becomes president. My real name is Archie Bunker, which is a pseudonym for David Duke. Not really, I work for ACORN.
I hope nobody out there knows who I really am; it would be ebarassing if my real identy were known.. You don’t know, do you Fastidious? If you do, I will stop my gadflying . behaviour. Get out your red pensil for spelling, because I ain’t had no schooling. Sincerely, and I remain your obedient servant, A. Nony Mous